The I Factor™

Dirty and Thirty – How Do You Know?

Posted on December 24, 2012 in Media Buzz |

by Paul N. Weinberg

In my last column, I mentioned a friend who had been dating a guy for months and yet had no idea if they were in an exclusive sexual relationship because they had never talked about it and she was afraid to ask.

Another friend was recently dating a guy for over a month before learning that he just wanted to hang out and wasn’t interested in having a relationship because they had never talked about it and she never thought to ask.

How can a woman be seeing a guy on a regular basis and have no clue what is going on in his head or with the relationship? With all the forms of communication these days – email, text messages, Facebook, online chats in addition to face-to-face and telephone – it amazes me how little actual communicating is going on.

So as a public service, I’ve compiled a simple guide to help you gain immediate clarity during the early stages of your relationship:

Q: How do you know if he is interested in having a relationship?

A: Ask him.

Q: How do you know if he might like to have a relationship with you?

A: Ask him.

Q: How do you know if he is sleeping with other people?

A: Ask him.

Q: How do you know if you have an exclusive sexual relationship with him?

A: Ask him.

Q: How do you know if he believes in commitment?

A: Ask him.

Q: How do you know if he ever wants to get married?

A: Ask him.

Q: How do you know if he would like to have kids?

A: Ask him.

Q: How do you know if he would be willing to convert or expect you to convert?

A: Ask him.

Q: How do you know if he prefers coffee or tea in the morning?

A: Ask him.

Well, you get the idea.

The point is that genuine communication is the essence of a relationship. And that includes communication about the relationship itself. If you’re not communicating about topics that affect the relationship, then you’re flying blind and most likely going to crash and burn pretty quickly, with a lot of disappointment and head-scratching.

What have you got to lose? Remember, the only thing worse than asking a question and getting an answer you don’t like is… not asking. The outcome will eventually be the same, but asking can save you a lot of wasted time and surprise when the truth finally surfaces.

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